I want to know

I want to know who came up with the word "why" and why on earth is it that children become obsessed with the word! I understand that Caroline is learning about her world and has lots of questions but if I hear the word one more time I might go a little nuts. Here is an example from today. I spilled something on the deck outside and got the broom to sweep it up. Caroline, "what you doing?" Me: "Getting the broom." C: "Why?" Me: "Because daddy spilled something on the deck." C: "Why?" Me: "It was an accident." C: "Why?" Me: "Daddy wasn't being careful." C: "Why? Me: "Because." C: "Why?" Me: "Because." C: "Why?" Me: "Because." C: "Why?" Me: Walk away shaking head! C: "Where you going?" Me: "To put the broom away." C: "Why?" And on it went for the rest of the night. WHY ME? Why...why...why...why me!

He's Lucky He's Cute

I just want to say that Jack is very lucky that he is super cute! This morning he started waking up at 4:30! That is AM not PM. There is nothing right about anyone being up at 4:30 in the morning and there is even less right with my child being up this early. I refused to get out of bed until 6am as that is the earliest time that I will allow Jack out of his bed. So, at 6am I grudgingly went into his room and I can say that I was not a happy camper. Jack had been waking me up on and off for over an hour and I was grumpy...very grumpy. So, I went into his room and what did I find? A little boy having the time of his life. He looked at me and the biggest grin came across his face and I couldn't help but be happy to see him. What a dirty trick that is! He is so freakin' cute that I can't even remain grumpy when I am awoken too early for my liking.

Jack doesn't mind getting up at the crack of dawn because he gets to nap. It is 10:15 now and he is working on his second nap of the morning. He had a 30 minute nap in the car and now he is in his crib working on another one! Me, I am still tired and there is no nap in my future. I guess that is life.

To wipe or not to wipe

So, Caroline is doing incredibly awesome with the potty training. In no time at all we have gone to her sleeping through the night with no pull up and we are officially done with paying for pee and poo catchers for Caroline. She had one accident the other day when I forgot to have her pee in the morning before I took her to daycare. She got to daycare and I forgot to have her pee there as well. When her teacher came out to where caroline was playing on the playground she noticed that Caroline was acting a little weird standing behind a play structure. Poor girl had peed all over pants and shoes. Ooooops on Dad!

The new problem is getting this girl to use the charmin after making a number two. Tonight as like world war III as I tried to get the girl clean properly. She was crying, Jack started crying and I was less than enthused. Any other parents have some strategy for this situation? I tried to convince her tonight that she didn't want skid marks on her pj's, but she didn't buy it.

On another note, I never thought that I would be sitting here writing about my daughter's poo. I guess it is a parent thing or it might just be a me thing and I am some kind of weirdo. Who knows! I am sure many of my friends have an opinion on that last part!

Why we're fat

I saw an advertisement for the new kentucky fried chicken sandwich and it tells us all we need to know about why this country is so freakin' fat! A bacon and cheese sandwich with fried chicken for the buns. Excuse me! Bread isn't enough anymore, now we need to eliminate the bread and just wrap our food in food. I heard someone say once that you can tell that the food isn't good for you if you can eat the container it comes in. Just think about for a minute. Bread bowls...awesome, but not good for you. Burrito...awesome, but generally calorie packed. Tacos...awesome, but makes your ass bigger. And now, the KFC Double Down enters the picture. The Double Down has 540 calories, 10 grams of saturated fat, 145 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,380 milligrams of sodium and a gram of sugar. Delicious! If that isn't enough for you maybe you should grab the Wendy's Baconator Triple topped the list, with 1,330 calories, 38 grams of saturated fat, 345 milligrams of cholesterol, 3,150 milligrams of sodium and 11 grams of sugar.

I think we all need to back away from the Double Down and run from the Baconator triple! Put the burger or chicken wrapped bacon and cheese down and go for a walk. I am no shining example of health, but at least I know that these foods are disgusting! Just think, added to these sandwiches people usually add 4 pounds of fries and a gallon of coke. I feel fatter just looking at the pictures of these things.

Whose Idea Was This?

Let me say this right upfront...I absolutely love my children to pieces. I love them more than I thought I could ever love anything. Here it comes...BUT, having two kids is so freakin' hard sometimes. Today I picked the kids up from daycare and brought them home. Caroline didn't want to go inside, but instead wanted to play outside. I thought to myself, "It is so nice outside, this should be fun!" Well, turns out the kids had fun, but dad did not. We started with playing chalk on the driveway for Caroline and sitting in the grass. Before long Caroline wanted to ride her bike. So I get the helmet and I get the bike. Then Jack starts crying. So, I run over and take of him. Then Caroline reminds me she wants to ride her bike. So, I run over and put on the helmet and give her a push on the bike. Jack starts crying again. Take care of him again. Caroline yells, "I need help." Run over and give her another push. Jack cries, so I pick him up. Caroline, "I need a push." Jack, "Waaaaaaaa!" Dad starts sweating! Caroline doesn't know how to petal so I get to push her around while carrying a 27 pound 8 month old who is squirming but no longer crying. Put Jack down because Caroline now wants to ride her electric princess car. Get her on that and turn to see Jack with a rock in his mouth. He is loving it, me not so much.

So, I go and get the rock out of Jack's mouth and then Caroline drives straight into the storage cabinet in the garage. The crash doesn't hurt her, until miss coordination tries to get off of the little ATV thingy and hits finger on a cabinet in the garage! Jack puts more rocks in his mouth. I decide it is time to go inside! Caroline gets a cartoon, Jack gets to mess with whatever he wants and I crash onto the couch exhausted from my hour playing outside with the kids! I need a shower!

Don't Call Me

If there is ever anything wrong at your house that needs fixin'...don't call me! I got further confirmation of this feeling today as I tried to replace the roller shades in the kids rooms only to have one not fit (too small, which is the worst!) and the other lost its spring tension and I am still working on fixing that problem. I know how to fix the last part at least! It will just take me time. So, let's got through the list of failures that I have had with home improvement:

1. Tried to replace the insides toilet and it leaked and leaked and leaked and leaked some more. Finally used a whole tube of silicone caulk and it worked like a charm! It only took me about 4 days and several trips to Home Depot, Lowe's and Ace hardware!
2. Hung shelves in the living room and a few months ago one of them just fell off the wall. No kids around, but it went smashing to the floor. Finally, the other day I put the shelves back up and used super duper brackets and a stud finder. Seem to be holding for now!
3. Installed garbage disposal in sink and have since had to re-install two times! Gets loose and then starts making a pool under the sink! I think I have isolated the problem and it was definitely installer error!
4. Hung my bike in the garage and that came tumbling down not long after! Better wall mounting screws later it is still suspended in the air in the garage.
5. Replaced screen on the front door and since then the dog has jumped out the door and caroline liked to stick her head outside through my fixed screen! Three attempts later I have half a front door screen that is tight and as it should be and another that flaps a bit in the breeze. At least it keeps the kids and the dogs inside for now!

Needless to say, I am not quite mr. fix-it, but I am persistent! I keep trying until I get it mediocre! It stays and it works, but you just have to wiggle it the right or pull it just so or talk nicely to it or pray to God that whatever I fixed does what it is supposed. I really think there should be a law that says that all male members of the Gray family not named Les (my carpenter, handyman grandfather) are not allowed to attempt to fix anything and should be barred from Home Depot, Lowe's and any other hardware store. Well, I am off to go try and fix that stupid shade in Caroline's room! Wish me luck!

I ordered a Zima, not emphysema

You know what I have trouble with? People who smoke anywhere near me! I can't stand it. It makes me sick (literally) and I can smell someone smoking from a mile away. Driving down the road if someone is smoking in the car ahead of me; I can smell it. Sitting in my living room and someone smoking on their deck down at the end of the condo; I can smell it. People smoking just outside of the door to non-smoking establishments; I can smell it. Now, I know that people have a right to do what they want, but why do I have to do it too? Second hand smoke is gross. You want to choose to kill yourself and get lung cancer...fine, but don't give it to me!

This all came about because I was outside at my church today selling food during a half marathon in town and there were so many people smoking. I felt like I had smoked half a pack of cigarettes without taking a single puff! I do believe that smokers have the right to smoke and outside is a great place to do it. I just wish that I had a moving no smoking zone around myself. Maybe a 50 foot radius within which people aren't allowed to smoke? Enter my area with a cigarette and you get an electric shock or something. Or maybe you smoke inside my radius and I kick you in the shins until you stop or move. I don't know. Smoking is just so nasty. Sorry to any smokers that I know, but I think your habit is nasty and I don't want it near me!

Why?!?

The other day I am sitting on the floor watching TV and the dog comes over to me like he often does, leans in and says pet me. Well, I thought that he was saying. Then I heard it...the noise that we all know. That noise that says move fast or you are getting puked on. I moved and just in time! Seconds later came a pile of things he had eaten earlier in the day. The best part was that the pile moved! I look closer and there it is...a worm! Gross, gross and more gross. After a visit to the Vet with some poo in hand we find that the dog has round worm. Let me tell you all that round worm is gross! My sister-in-law who is a vet tech said we don't want to know how many worms are wriggling around inside our dog! Gross just got grosser.

And that leads us to today and my ultimate question of why. Fred is on medicine and apparently it has upset his delicate little tummy and there is more upchucking going on. But my question is this: Why does the dog come over to me for a snuggle and then vomit right next to me? I had it out on the back deck for over an hour and no puke. He comes inside, slides in next to me and then the noise! Why does it have to be me? Can't he puke next to Annie or maybe even better he could do it outside. Either way, I am sufficiently grossed out about this whole affair and really wish the dog would chuck somewhere else!

My Dog Fred

Ok, so I am sitting here watching Private Chefs of Beverly Hills and there is a woman on this show who threw a dinner party for dogs and hired private chefs to feed the dogs! The dogs ate Ahi tuna and filet mignot and kobe beef. That is absurd. There are people in the world who have no food to eat and this crazy lady and all here crazy friends are spending thousands of dollars feeding their dogs. How about you throw some hot dogs on the floor and send the extra thousands of dollars to someone who really needs it. My dog Fred (to the left) gets to eat dog food that comes from the store in 40 pound bags that cost about $40 bucks. He loves every bit and goes racing to his dish every morning when he gets fed. For him, this $4o food is heavenly and he has no need for food that costs more than I make in a month. It is just stupid to spend that much money feeding a dog! I love my dog, but come on people! It's a dog!

From a Dad's Eye

So, one of my Natick High School friends (Becky Williams Whitney) told me today that I should start a blog because I am a parent of 2 awesome kids (I kind of agree with that) and I have an educated opinion! (That is very true!) Being the good listener that I am I got right on it and started this blog. As you can see from the blog title I will be blogging from the eyes of a Dad. I think that often we dad's get a bad rap and people usually ask other mom's how to do this or how to do that. Hello! I am a parent too and I have an opinion. Sometimes these decisions are based on knowledge and more often they are based on what will be the most entertaining for me! "Dad, I can puddle!" Translation, "Dad, can I jump in the puddle with my shoes on and no rain gear." My thinking: Experience tells me that jumping in a puddle without rain boots and a rain coat results in wet, cold child. My entertain me side says, "Go for it. Looks like fun!" Fun for me side wins out over experience and Caroline gets soaked in a puddle! A win for both of us, until her feet turned blue!

So, Dad's and Mom's out there, be prepared to hear stories from this Dad that will inspire you, enlighten you, make you laugh and sometimes you may even want to throw up! I am a Dad and I have something to say!